About nine years ago I had a speed lunch with my brother at the Cape Town Waterfront. Now, for those who do not know my brother, God forgot to give him an off button. My plane was leaving back to Joburg at four so whatever we had to drink and say we did it at speed.
We rushed to Cape Town airport and as I got out of his car I heard my name being called over the intercom warning me to board immediately. Suddenly I felt the last two whiskies starting to land. I was still laughing at what my brother had told me at lunch, he is a very funny person. Now, I ran faster through the boarding gate towards the plane when I realised there was a problem. The last of the first class passengers was walking up the stairs to board the plane and one very large lady wearing a golden bling dress was being pushed up the stairs.
I hung onto the railings to catch my breath and burst out laughing. She must have thought that I was laughing at her and she too packed out laughing. The little white koffie moffie (they used to work for SAA back then) also packed up while he was pushing her with his shoulder from behind.
Finally we were seated next to each other and I was also upgraded to first class. Now things had changed in first class. A year before, SAA first class would have been full of little white men with dark suits and small matching hats, that day it was full of big black dudes with Armani suits.
I have always been nervous about taking off since I landed a plane in the mielies when I did my first solo while learning to fly. That is another story. As the SAA Boeing gathered speed down the runway I asked my brand new black lady friend if I could hold her hand because I was scared and that my wife and I always hold hands when the plane takes off. She packed up laughing again and took my hand.
At altitude the Koffie moffie brought us more whiskies. By the time we were over Bloem we did not need a plane to fly as we had wings. She had already poured her heart out to me about her husband who had been offered a post as the South African ambassador in New York which meant that she would have to give up her office four doors away from Madiba's office at the Union Buildings. Lucky for her I have no idea who she was or where she is today, but what was said in first class stays in first class, except I will tell you one thing she told me.
I asked her, When do us Whities have to start to worrying because I wanted to stock up with fresh tins of baked beans (like we need baked beans when we
stressed)
She said. "BEWARE OF THE DAY WHEN THE ANC STARTS FIGHTING AMOUNGST THEMSELVES.THAT WILL BE THE DAY THAT THEY WILL TRY AND REUNITE THEM BY BEING HORRIBLE TO THE WHITES"
Since that day I have watched the ANC with interest. Us Whities have all of a sudden been placed in the firing line again.
I do not think Malema knows what he is saying and some days he says things way above his intellect. I think he is being coached by Shaka Zuma.